I'm not so good at "summarizing" information about "myself" and making sure that information is "interesting" and/or "worth reading." Maybe one day someone will send me a custom-made biography I could just replace this all with and I won't come off so insane. Actually, that's not a bad idea for a post. I'll get on that.

Here's some stuff I kept from my previous about page:

defy the reds: rachel
defy the reds: let's run off together!
defy the reds: give up on journalism,
defy the reds: you can write bad made-for-tv movies
defy the reds: i'll be your muse
defy the reds: that means
defy the reds: i'll live off of you
defy the reds: and
defy the reds: you can touch my stomach
defy the reds: and i'll give you nothing but praise
defy the reds: so you can run off on any tangent you want within the plot
defy the reds: in case you have trouble coming up with ideas,
defy the reds: like,
defy the reds: if i slack on the sit-ups
defy the reds: you can fall back on your journalism
defy the reds: write a bad tv movie about a journalism student
defy the reds: or a newspaper
defy the reds: or a MURDER WITH ALIENS
defy the reds: at a newspaper place.
red cherry bomb: so i can effectively use my journalism degree and my uncanny ability to pen ill-conceived melodrama -- just the sort bad tv movies rely on -- together?

I'm including the preceding in my about page because:
1. I need a quick and easy idea to fill up space so this whole thing seems more impressive than it really is
2. I'd love to write bad television movies
3. It will almost certainly get Michael jealous, which, as a mature and confident female, is one of my favorite pastimes
4. I've been hitting the whiskey again
5. That fourth reason is probably the driving force if I'm going to be honest with myself

In conclusion, if you ever find yourself in bad spirits, say to yourself "Beefaroni Jr." Then imagine a big bowl of Beefaroni, perhaps as big as a baby elephant, and a very small bowl of Beefaroni, perhaps as small as a thimble. If that doesn't perfectly demonstrate the master-slave dialectic, I don't know what does.