one is silver and the other's gold

Monday, April 1st 8/7pm NBC
Shared Gold: Skating Champions Return to the Ice
"For the first time since capturing controversial gold at Salt Lake, Canadian medalists Jamie Sale and David Pelletier and Russian medalists Yelena Berezhnaya and Anton Sikharulidze skate together - in Canada."

When I saw the commercial for this, I about died. Christie and I thought for sure it was a joke--the previews show the skaters all sweet and happy and holding hands and skating in a circle. Like they're all knitting afghans together and wearing best friend necklaces. I just wonder how much NBC had to pay them for this--it's obviously designed to make us forget about their little "problem" during the Winter Olympics. Also, I think it's funny that the teaser says "for the first time since capturing controversial gold." It hasn't exactly been a long time since the Olympics were over.

On an entirely different note, does anyone find it disturbing that Celine Dion swore off her singing career two years ago, and now she's got a new album coming out and is all over the talk show circuit? For the love of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, why can't people keep their promises?

03-31-2002 8:22 PM - comments (0)

hard, hard labor

The Amarillo Globe-News started sending me issues about a month ago so I could become acquainted with its design and style. They come in sets of threes and fours, and the time lag is about two to three weeks. After taking a look at a Sunday edition (usually a paper's time to shine), I realized why they needed me. The design is sloppy, busy and juvenile, and it's surprising that after having taken only one design class, I could tell that upon first glance.

The problem with small papers is that they have a small budget, and they usually have to decide between writing and design. It makes sense that design would suffer at the hands of writing, but it's weird that some ambitious young thing hasn't marched into the Globe-News and declared she'd help the paper for a tremednous paycut from what she was making at ExxonMobil. Oh wait, that is what's going to happen.

Anyway, I was changing the newspapers under Elliott's litter box yesterday with the Globe-News. I had been using the Maneater (because that's all it's good for), but this one comes to me free and it's pretty bulky. I noticed an international news brief about some men in Egypt who were convicted for being homosexual. That's interesting in itself, but more interestingly, the obviously-edited-by-the-Globe-News version said they were sentenced to "hard, hard labor."

Either someone there has a great sense of humor there or I'm going to have my work cut out for me.

03-30-2002 9:39 AM - comments (0)

taut stomachs and skinny souls

I never thought I'd sink this low, but I put a picture of a Victoria's Secret-clad Heidi Klum on my desk as inspiration to lose weight. Now, I'm not crazy. I know I'm never going to look like a lingerie model. But it serves as a cruel reminder that I'm never going to lose weight if I'm apathetic. I also promised myself that I'd get my hair cut and pierce my lip if I lose 10 pounds. I have the weirdest motivations.

The great source of online news, the Chris Hill Festival, alerted me to Britney and Justin's breakup. Normally, I could care less about the Slut Queen and her girly-man boyfriend's love life, but I'm taking pleasure in their split. I, like many of my peers (and 90% of the world, it seems) view those two as singlehandedly ruining music. I also never believed they were really together to begin with--I honestly think it was a ploy set up by their record company to generate buzz about their albums. It just fit together too nicely.

Also, if everyone I know is repulsed by the current wave of pop music, how is it selling? Do I sense a New Kids on the Block effect approaching?

03-29-2002 9:46 AM - comments (0)

happiness is a warm gun

My new friend Zach implored me to post sometime today, even though I tried convincing him I had nothing of interest to say.

Here goes: I finally got a hold of my mentor from the Amarillo Globe-News. She was really good about e-mailing me at first, but then all of the sudden it seemed I went into stalker mode and e-mailed her constantly. I sort of thought she had died in a boating accident or something else equally shrouded in mystery. She invited me to visit her cats, which seems like a weird offer, but she might not be able to find any places in Amarillo that allow cats and thought I might be in Elliott withdrawal. She's found several hotel-like places (bedroom, bathroom and combination kitchen/dining room/living room--sounds, um, cozy) that charge by the day or week and don't require a lease. It sounds pricier than what I was hoping, but I'm getting a little frantic about arrangements and it might have to do.

One very cool thing to report on--my very wonderful friend Jen started an online journal a couple of weeks ago. You should keep up with her life--she's easily the nicest, most thoughtful person I know. Reading her entries is an uplifiting experience; her sheer amount of positive energy makes me look like Eeyore. I was going to say "Kurt Cobain a few minutes before killing himself," but thought better of it. This is a family-friendly site, people.

03-28-2002 12:19 PM - comments (0)

with honors

As I'm a soap buff (yes, this is, in fact, contradictory to my otherwise "good taste"), I decided to check out the list of nominees for the Daytime Emmys. My favorite show, Guiding Light, is up for quite a few (Best Original Song? Best Makeup? And they wonder why people think soap fans are stupid housewives). Bored and listless, I decided to check out the rest of the nominees.

Of interest:

Best Performer in a Children's Series
Donna Pescow as Eileen Stevens, Even Stevens
Fred Rogers, as Mister Rogers, Mister Rogers' Neighborhood
Levar Burton as Levar Burton, Reading Rainbow
Kevin Clash as Elmo, Sesame Street
Mary-Kate Olsen as Riley Carlson, So Little Time

Is it just me, or is it just a little weird that only one of the Olsen twins was nominated? I would have liked to have watched the judges decide on which twin was the better performer: "Well, Mary-Kate's inflection is clearly superior. Look at how Ashley fails to convey how she feels when her sister does better on the Algebra I exam! It's unprofessional. If they gave Academy Awards for children's shows, Mary-Kate would be on the top of the list, right next to Elmo. Ashley wouldn't even be invited to the show. Plus, Mary-Kate's bouncy blond hair and trendy Limited Too clothes are just to die for, while Ashley's are so-so. Are those two 18 yet? Maybe we could throw a nomination Ashley's way if she agrees to...well, never mind. We got Mary-Kate; she's enough."

03-27-2002 10:40 AM - comments (0)

real american hero

I just finished cleaning up and organizing my MP3 list. Oddly enough, I had a dozen versions of "Karma Police" and "Fake Plastic Trees" for some reason. I like Radiohead as much as the next person, but what would possess me to have that many copies? I also had to remove songs that some "friends" downloaded during parties. Examples: several Gang of Four songs, the Chicago Bulls theme song (whenever I delete it, it mysteriously comes back), a Linkin Park song, a Limp Bizkit song, some Hulk Hogan song and some awful Sarah McLachlan stuff.

I always brag that the people I know have great taste. Maybe I should rethink my assessment.

03-26-2002 4:53 PM - comments (0)

the truth about cats

Last night, Elliott learned a new trick. I am absolutely ecstatic to announce he can now fetch a hairband and bring it back to me. It's funny, because I always make the argument that cats are smarter than dogs, but dogs can do this sort of thing without much training. I just think Elliott was waiting until he trusted me to show off his new ability. It doesn't mean he's stupid that he hasn't been able to do it before. Right?

Also, dogs can't purr. And that's my favorite thing about Elliott.

03-26-2002 9:37 AM - comments (0)

a little change would do you good

I need a change again. I decided while I was in the shower this afternoon that I wanted a drastic haircut and a lip piercing. Both Michael and Christie persuaded me to give it some thought (what, ten minutes wasn't enough?), but I think I'm resolved to do one or the other. I ended up getting at least some new underwear...nice satin stuff...I don't know why I bother telling you this, although it reminds me of how people convince everyone around them to drink so they won't be drinking alone. Or something like that.

As I was driving home from Chris' swank apartment (I left Christie there, much to her "dismay"), I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of bitterness and resentment (aimed at a person I thought I had all but forgotten). I don't know what inspired it, but I'm starting to realize that some things aren't meant to be forgotten. I'm sorry for being so vague, but I think I'd need months of therapy to sort this one out.

03-25-2002 9:01 PM - comments (0)

the art of manipulation

Not a bad weekend...Michael and I went to Olive Garden Friday night, slept in Saturday (well, he did. I did laundry) and we watched Mizzou get destroyed by Oklahoma with Christie and her brother. Then we went to Rasoi and got chicken korma and naan bread. I absolutely love Indian music playing in the background while we're eating. It's so...exotic. Then we got her brother drunk for the first time. Actually, Michael didn't participate, and I was on edge because Michael was there and it's weird to drink around him. It's like killing someone in front of an anti-murder advocate. Just makes you uncomfortable.

Actually, this weekend turned out quite well. Before Michael came in on Friday, he asked if I wanted to see Blade II with him. I thought he was joking, and he got offended and said he wished he had "a cool girlfriend." Then I found a review on that said "Blade II is as estrogen-free as movies get, so you might want to leave your date behind for this one, or she's gonna make you feel like you owe her big-time."

Well said, Luke Y. Thompson, of the New Times Los Angeles. Your prophetic words earned me a chocolate lasagna from Olive Garden. And even better, we haven't even seen the movie yet, nor do I think we ever will. Thank God for meaningless vampire movies.

03-24-2002 10:16 AM - comments (0)

mixed blessing

Spring Break officially started for me an hour ago. I don't think I've ever just had a week to myself (sans family, obligations, etc.), so I'm a little overwhelmed by my newfound freedom. I do have a good deal of homework, and I got pretty far behind in my classes when I went on vacation, so I'll try to get caught up. But sleeping late every day, playing the Sims until I can move into a mansion, watching my soaps's heaven.

I was supposed to go on a road trip with some of my friends this week. The road trip turned into a week-long visit to Chicago (where two of the people going are from), which was so cool. That way we could cut the cost of hotel stays. Unfortunately, the cost of driving up there (by myself, because I'd have to leave early to do my homework) and entertainment expenses (they were talking about going to the movies, out to eat, going to see comedy shows, getting massages, etc) are way too much for me now, especially considering my nearly-$500 phone bill and current bank account of $21. Plus, my dad officially forbade me to go this morning (as I expected). I could go without his permission, but my parents already think I'm a financial risk. Spending a couple hundred dollars on a trip with my friends probably seems secondary to paying my bills and loan to my aunt (in their eyes).

The really rotten thing is that I'm pretty sure one of my friends is angry with me for not being able to go. So not only do I not get to take this awesome trip, but I've made someone unhappy in the process. I wonder what could get worse this week? Michael's been joking (or so I hope) about breaking up with me. I learned horribly disturbing things about someone I care about. I'm nearly $1300 in debt to the credit company, my aunt and the phone company. My dad just lost the job he had had since graduation.

I could use a break from all of this.

03-22-2002 11:20 AM - comments (0)

go team go

I don't normally get this excited over college basketball, but...

Holy hell and sweet Jesus. Missouri's in the Elite Eight. A twelfth-seeded team has never made it this far in the tournament. Ever. I am a happy girl tonight.

03-21-2002 10:48 PM - comments (0)

ode to the suicide note

I just finished my take-home Brit Lit exam and explication of "Dover Beach." I'm sapped. It's a good thing I have a high threshold for makes-you-want-to-die poetry, otherwise these last couple of hours would have been hellish. What am I thinking? They have been hellish. But Keats is so damn good that it makes me wish I applied myself more to creative writing. I know I could probably write something halfway decent if I sat down for a couple of hours and just wrote.

My boyfriend is IMing me. My roommates are talking to me. I am too distracted to ever be a great writer.

03-20-2002 9:04 PM - comments (0)


-I may or may not have contracted some weird tropical disease while on vacation. After my long sleep last night, I still feel drained and dizzy. I was bitten by approximately 23 mosquitoes; what's the chance one of them gave me something?

-I've decided that being a recovering Catholic means I have more issues than a Student News newsstand. My guilt complex, in particular, has been deemed "sexy" by the media. This is why I hate religion so much.

-The guy taking the test next to me in history today kept breathing. This wouldn't normally be a problem, but his breath smelled like he had been eating tobacco for lunch. It was enough to keep me from writing an excellent essay, and that's going to be my explanation when I get the test back.

-"Monkey Gone to Heaven" by the Pixies is pure genius. It's also good music to listen to on a sunny day with your car windows rolled down.

03-20-2002 11:57 AM - comments (0)

void life insurance policies

Yesterday was truly a suicidal day. I kept fighting the urge to drive my car into a tree, and I promised myself I'd cheer up today and enjoy the cloudy, rainy Missouri weather. In true Bridget Jones fashion:

Cell phone bill $446.38 (v. bad) people being mean/insane/upsetting 3 (bad) hours studying for history test 2 (bad) days until second spring break 3 (hurry up) calories 1200 (bad) cigarettes 0 (v. good, considering non-smoker status), desire to finish bottle of rum all day (v. bad)

In other news, my vacation was good. I got a decent tan, went snorkeling, rested on the gorgeous beach, ate and drank way too much. Typical vacation stuff. I feel asleep on the third leg of my trip back--put my head into my arms, nearly suffocating--and when I woke up as we were landing, I couldn't hear anything because my ears got messed up from the cabin pressure. I felt tired, mean and rotten and the feeling didn't go away until I feel asleep at 9 (!) last night.

I'll put pictures up this weekend. I'm sure you're dying for me to complete that top section of ouranophobe.

03-20-2002 7:51 AM - comments (0)

homecomings I知 going to be


I知 going to be in St. Louis tonight, which means my vacation is hereby over. I feel weird writing about this a week before the fact, but I値l go ahead and say I had a lovely time with my family and avoided getting sick from the food and water. My bathing suit didn稚 fit right and I知 going to want to diet until Christmas. My cat and my boyfriend have forgotten who I am.

Straw hat, anyone?

03-18-2002 11:39 AM - comments (0)

I miss bill waterston This

I miss bill waterston

This whole 的知 on vacation but I still have material to publish makes me feel like Bil Keane, the mastermind behind the Family Circus comic strip. Then again, I知 not having some annoying little brat write my posts for me and make 田ute mistakes. If there痴 anything wrong with American culture, it痴 Family Circus. For a good time, check out my friend Alex痴 truly disturbing (but funny) interpretations of the strip. While you池e there, read his columns. He痴 a funny guy.

03-16-2002 1:43 PM - comments (2)

mailbag Today we致e got a


Today we致e got a response to my 都inging John Ashcroft post (or, rather, a response to the singing John Ashcroft himself) and a belated response to my Sept. 11 entries.

What the hell was he thinking? That痴 something you keep to yourself or at least do it outside of your professional engagements. I think that痴 a testament to his ego. He probably thinks he痴 right and justified in whatever actions he chooses because he痴 doing god痴 work. I wonder how much he deliberates or questions himself. He scares the shit out of me.

--Doug Bailey

I have a difficult time remembering those few weeks from the day it happened to whatever day it was that I started feeling "better." I remember crying a lot, not eating, not going to class because when I went to class I was told to go home or if allowed to stay I tended to lose it emotionally whenever the topic of the attacks came up, which was every instant of every class.
I can't remember if I distracted myself. My girlfriend was (and still is) in the Middle East serving in the Peace Corps, my brother has an office on Wall St ... no one I knew died, but it hit very close to home, I still live there, I only left the state to attend school in Michigan, which left me feeling extremely isolated when it happened. Being in a state full of people who were not from New York or the tri-state area, many of whom had never even been there ... and being at a University filled with phonies left me dealing with a public that cared very little for what transpired and for those affected by it.
There was one girl here from New Jersey, that I met that day ... she was the only one who understood in any way what it felt like. I was incredulous when she told me the story of the girl who came by her room to ask her if she wanted to eat, and when my friend told her she couldn't eat because of what had happened, the girl said "Oh, I just can't get upset by that, it doesn't matter to me."
While this still hasn't come close to answering whether I think we had the right to distract ourselves, I hope you find some worth in it. I think eventually, whether we actively attempt distraction or not, we become distracted from pain as a defense mechanism, to save ourselves from madness from not having the capability to process so much anguish. You can only take so much before shock sets in, before your body shuts down in a desperate attempt to save itself, which often comes as the expense of one's own sensitivity. But I find whenever I am faced by my memories of that day and the weeks that followed it, I am still powerless to elude the anguish that pervades every facet of my existence.
I don't think it's a question of what is right or wrong ... distraction becomes a necessary defense against a reality that is too much to constantly bear. While nothing is good in excess, a balance must be achieved between when you allow yourself to be overwhelmed and when you allow yourself to try and live through your own anguish.

--Steve Soldwedel

03-15-2002 4:13 PM - comments (0)

seen and heard On the

seen and heard

On the effects of aging:
Sarah: If you lived forever, all you壇 be is nose and ears.

On the future of bathroom technology:
Michael: In Star Trek, the characters must have the cleanest anuses in the universe!

03-13-2002 10:11 AM - comments (0)

that痴 right, ZWAN I知 going

that痴 right, ZWAN

I知 going to see ZWAN in April. For those of you who don稚 know, ZWAN is former Smashing Pumpkins singer Billy Corgan痴 new band. I am obsessed with the Smashing Pumpkins and I致e been known to declare Corgan as our generation痴 most talented songwriter. The weird thing is, I haven稚 heard a thing about the band, other than the fact that Remy Zero was supposed to open for all of its shows. But if Billy Corgan is involved, it痴 going to be good.

I am so damn excited about this. I知 going to convince Christie and Michael to wait with me hours before the show starts. I am going to meet Billy Corgan and have my picture taken with him and then, and only then, can I die happy.

03-12-2002 1:26 PM - comments (0)

bon voyage I知 on vacation

bon voyage

I知 on vacation this week in the Dominican Republic, hopefully improving my skin tone from vampire-white to golden-brown. Actually, judging by my last few vacations, I値l come home lobster-red. And then everyone can make fun of the burnt girl with the peeling skin.

I致e written some entries ahead of time that Michael will post every day. I just don稚 want everyone to stop coming simply because I took a week off. It was either that or I buy my readers straw hats and kitschy t-shirts. I like this much better, don稚 you?

03-11-2002 9:33 AM - comments (0)

caffeinated girl in a decaf world

Sorry I didn't post earlier today. I've been extremely busy and stressed out. Our apartment guide needed some technical stuff done to it ("get on it, oh computer-geek boyfriend"); I had to finish my massive magazine assignment (and of course there had to be huge problems with it that kept me in the design lab for five hours) and I had to start thinking about packing for my vacation, which was really quite absorbing.

It was also time for Michael to leave. I don't want to talk about that, except to say there's a hush-hush plan in the works to uproot Washington University and move it to Columbia. Look for construction in early April.

My cat is watching me with his adorable green eyes. But I think there's more going on in that brain than wanting to eat or sleep or pounce on me. He's slowly stealing my soul when he looks at me; I can feel it. And that cute trilling noise he makes when you talk to him in a sing-songy voice is the language of Lucifer and his minions.

I think this is all a sign that I need to go to bed.

03-07-2002 10:15 PM - comments (0)

god-fearing bureaucrats

This man is our attorney general. You have to hear it to believe it.

Maybe it's just me, but I want my attorney general to be a stalwart proponent of justice. And it's hard to be a stalwart proponent of justice when you're merrily singing about eagles and God's glory. Speaking of God's glory, I'm all for it, but not anywhere near my government. Isn't that what we were all worried about when Ashcroft was nominated? Guess we were on the right track.

03-06-2002 1:03 PM - comments (0)

let's do this thing

I'm falling-down tired. Someone told me recently that no matter how early you went to bed, waking up for an 8 a.m. class always feels gross. The same goes for going to bed late and waking up late. Melissa, Michael, Sarah and I stayed up until 3:30 yesterday morning finishing the cover and centerspread for the Student News housing guide, and it's noon right now and I still feel like I got hit by a golfcart and was left for dead.

It paid off, though. With Melissa's creative concept, Michael's amazing PhotoShop skills, Sarah's photography and my copy writing ability, what we have done to send to the publisher looks awesome. It's really too bad that we have so few stories to go with the design. It's very Roy Lichtenstein-esque--pulp-comicy, pop art, whatever you want to call it. I'll put a link to it (or have Michael do it, considering I'll be gone when it comes out) on Monday.

I don't know why I'm hanging around my computer when I have class in less than an hour. I wish I had some incentive to get out of bed sometimes.

03-06-2002 10:11 AM - comments (0)

damned bureaucracy

I feel like there's a million things to get done before I leave for vacation on Monday. Namely, I have to change my major officially, hang out with our "littles", make arrangements with my professors and classmates to reschedule quizzes and get copies of missed notes, schedule in some time to work out, design a spread for magazine class, make sure my article in Vox is all right, pack, clean, argh!

As you can tell, I'm a bit stressed out. I got the news that my bitch of a history professor won't let me take the quiz over Goodwin's No Ordinary Time a week early (I'll be gone during the regularly-scheduled one). Here's the thing: I'm offering to get this monster of a book read a week early, and I'll take it at her convenience. There's no way I could tell anyone about the material on the quiz, because I'll be gone. I even asked her to e-mail my mother if she had any questions or concerns. Here's what she had to say:

I'm sorry, but I won't be able to let you take the quiz early. Although I would like to be accommodating it is simply not possible, in a class of nearly 300, to give quizzes other than at the scheduled time except in cases of illness or other emergency.

I used to understand that argument. Obviously, a professor wants to be fair. But can't she make an exception for a student who has an excellent grade in the class (100 right now), and who is offering to demonstrate her ability even further by asking to make it up before everyone takes it? I think I'm primarily upset because earning a zero for this quiz grade means the best grade I can get in the class is a 92. On top of that, my extremely cool Brit Lit professor is not only letting me make up both the quiz and test I'll be missing in her class, but she's letting me take it whenever I want after I get back.

Argh, argh, argh.

03-05-2002 9:09 AM - comments (0)

it seemed like rainbows would appear

It snowed this weekend. It snowed more than I've ever seen here, and Saturday night was supposed to be our huge party. People still came, but I was nervous all day about the driving conditions and people drinking too much that I didn't have as much fun as I would have liked. I'm also not terribly comfortable around people I don't know. But I did get to finally wear my red one-strap shirt with the silver skull on it. I was trying to say "sexy but attached." I wonder if people got the idea.

It didn't help my attitude that someone stole all of the hard lemonade I had bought for a friend in exchange for the history notes I missed. I'm already pretty short on funds; besides that, I think it's incredibly rude for someone at a small gathering to simply take any and all alcohol he can get his hands on. It was obvious he either finished or didn't bring his own, and now I'm out another $10 for replacing it. The stupidest thing is that it was probably one of Jeff's friends. I love Jeff. He's never proclaimed his religious beliefs to me, but his friends were during the evening. They were talking about how it was okay for Christians to drink because "Jesus turned water into wine." I guessed they missed that thing about your body being a temple. And the part about thou shalt not steal.

It sounds like I'm in a bad mood today, but I feel great. I'm a little scared about driving in the ice, but I only have to go to Brit Lit today and some Student News stuff and the gym. And tomorrow we get to hang out with our "littles" again.

03-04-2002 9:11 AM - comments (0)


Explicate This! "Soul to Squeeze" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
"I think it's clear he's talking about having syphillus"--Christie Andersen
"I think it's about dropping acid. That can make your brain bleed"--Sarah Stone

Quote of the Day
鄭 synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of"--Burt Bacharach (submitted by Doug Bailey)
"Sweet sassy molassy!"--Ray Romano (submitted by Melissa Mudd)

03-01-2002 7:06 PM - comments (0)