Maybe I'm paranoid, but doesn't

Maybe I'm paranoid, but doesn't this seem a little too convenient?

08-27-2004 7:11 PM - comments (3)

I have a really busy

I have a really busy next few weeks coming up. And I've been fairly busy recently, so this website has really been the least of my concerns, for which I apologize.

To get you back up to speed:

1. I was promoted a few weeks ago to managing editor of Pulitzer's new projects division. I was previously editor. Now I'm no wordsworth, but doesn't it kind of seem like "managing editor" sounds less prestigious than "editor"? (I got a new cubicle and more money, so I won't push it.)

2. We shot the cover of our upcoming issue Monday, and it went well. We went with two gowns on two different backgrounds: a gorgeous rose-colored gown with roses down the side (on a pink background) and my dream gown, a vintage-inspired, off-the-shoulder latte-colored dress with a sash under the bust and a fabulous swirl pattern across the entire gown. That was shot on a really cool muted green color.

3. We're doing our main fashion spread tomorrow at the Botanical Gardens. I'm really worried it will rain -- we must get some shots in the Japanese gardens!

4. I saw "Garden State" with Michael. An incredibly enjoyable movie, which is no surprise, I guess. Zach Braff is pretty talented. Natalie Portman isn't so bad herself. But the real standout performance, in my opinion, was that of Peter Skarsgaard. I think he'll be doing great things in the future. I was slightly disappointed with the inability of the movie to ever connect with itself; it was disjointed at places, and there were some frankly irrelevant scenes (I'd argue that in a two-hour movie, every scene should be valuable). But a great first effort and a great soundtrack as well.

5. I wasn't going to post this, but I want to be able to remember it in the future: I've lost a good amount of weight this past month. A couple of people have noticed, but more importantly, my clothes feel so much looser. I'm really proud of myself; I've never had the discipline to follow through with any sort of regimen. So if I can do it, anyone can do it, as the expression goes.

6. I've decided when I get down to my ideal weight, the first thing I'm going to do is spend some quality time with a double steakburger with cheese at Steak 'n Shake. Some things never change.

7. I move out September 11. I move in with Michael for approximately two weeks after that. Then I make the final move (doesn't that sound morbid?) September 25 to my rad Central West End studio apartment. I'm so excited.

8. Michael and I are planning a very cool vacation somewhere in the Caribbean for a year from now (there are very good last-minute deals available right now...but neither of us has the approximately $1,000 in cash to throw down at the moment). I'm thinking the same place my family and I stayed at a couple of years ago in Punta Cana. Awesome food, flawless beach. I can't wait.

9. I have decided when I am debt-free that I will buy myself a new car. Mini Coopers start at $16,000, but they seem like death on wheels. XTerras are very cool, but they are gas-guzzling whores. Any suggestions for a four-wheel drive vehicle that costs between $15,000 and $25,000 with good safety features that I might enjoy?

10. Most importantly...happy belated birthday to Jen and happy early birthday to Tiff! Christie and I joke that we always get your birthdays mixed up. Let's hope we did it right this year.

08-25-2004 6:42 PM - comments (6)

It'll take away from some

It'll take away from some of the fire in that last post, but I'm feeling the need to remind you I'm not a terrible person. I just reach boiling point sometimes, and it's at those times I need to say it to all of you instead of holding it against specific people in my personal life.

We all have opinions, and most of us see those opinions take on a life of their own during heated election years. I am not apologizing for what I said, but I do want to let you know that if you changed your mind from 2000 to this year, it does not mean I think you are a horrible person. It's actually kind of refreshing to know there are people who can do that. (Not that you need to worry what I think about you, anyway.) I hope it's obvious the post was aimed at people who proudly voted for the wrong candidate four years ago and refuse to be held accountable for it now and/or those people who go so far as to condescend to those of us who voted for Gore.

Carry on.

08-25-2004 11:33 AM - comments (0)

the prodigal voter

I'm annoyed. I apologize. I've been so good this election season. I've kept my mouth shut and welcomed you, the moderates and repentants, into the Democratic party. I've gone so far as to defend you to my far-left friends. They thought I was crazy for being so diplomatic. I'm starting to think they were right.

Hey, as long as you vote for Kerry in November, right?

I'm starting to realize how wrong this is. Frankly, you were wrong when you voted for Bush in 2000. You were wrong when you voted for Nader. And now that you have woken up and smelled the rotten stench of Bush's presidency, now you want to be righteous about it? I'm sorry, but no. It's because of you that we're in this miserable position at all. So great, you read the New York Times op/ed page to get your opinions. So what if those columnists don't begin to understand the average American and the average American's needs? So what if your political passion is of the canned variety, while mine is the foundation of my very existence? We're on the same team; ends justify the means and all.

But here's the part that really irks me. You ignored people like me back in 2000, people who really understood politics because that's what we've lived and breathed since we were old enough to think. People who had Bush as our governor since '94 and who knew the havoc he was capable of wreaking on the country. But Al Gore is soooo boring, you said. He's sooooo stiff. And while you were busy whining about the "lesser of two evils," I was busy campaigning for Gore, campaigning for a liberal I firmly believe no, I know would have been a far better leader than Bush. And you read your pretentious magazines and absored what your holier-than-thou pundits had to say. And when the results finally came in, you reverted to your attacks on Gore and how you didn't screw up the election, he did. He did it to himself, right? Wrong. You couldn't be more wrong. You and you alone are to blame for this.

And now you want to complain to me about how horrible our current situation is and how you know the remedy for it. Well, guess what? I don't want to hear it. I don't care what you have to say, because I knew that was going to happen all along. Like many Democrats, I was reasoned enough and informed enough to foresee that. I ignored the liberal media whores who would do anything to make a name for themselves, even if it meant selling their journalistic souls or tricking their oh-so-intelligent readers into believing something that was simply not true. Media influence on political opinion is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and you fell for it! It's hard to believe someone like you could fall victim to that.

But if you think about it really think about it you'll realize I grew up with good old-fashioned liberal beliefs. See, I know it's not something you should take pride in, but I do: I got my beliefs from my good old-fashioned liberal parents. They taught me that there is always a difference between liberals and conservatives, even if some uppity left-wingers like to say there's not.

Some will say what's done is done. They will say you made a mistake then, but you won't make it again. I can respect that. My good old-fashioned liberal parents taught me to have an open mind and to be diplomatic, after all. What I can't respect is how you think you get to be smug this time around, while I've been humbly biting my tongue for the last four years, trying to have an open mind and trying to be diplomatic toward you, the prodigal voter. But my last shred of patience with you has fallen away. We may have to play on the same team, but it doesn't mean I have to have an ounce of respect for you. And as trite as this diatribe may make me appear to you, I don't care because I have stopped caring what you think of me. I can finally say what I've been wanting to say since you single-handedly put that miserable excuse for a human being in office four years ago:

I told you so.

(Ed. note: I've received an e-mail from a close friend whom I respect greatly who agreed with some of what I said but took issue with my assessment of my liberal upbringing. I did not intend to suggest that people who grew up in a conservative environment somehow are lesser people than those who grew up in a liberal environment. Obviously, that has no bearing on much of anything except, of course, our political beliefs.)

08-25-2004 10:52 AM

you know who you are.

you know who you are.

wait
they don't love you like I love you
wait
they don't love you like I love you...

08-24-2004 9:28 PM - comments (0)

I have to learn to

I have to learn to control my uncontrollable crying.

Most days, I'm fine. Really. Days like today seem to dwarf that fact. The right song, the right memory leave me feeling helpless. I kind of hate feeling helpless.

08-23-2004 9:58 PM - comments (0)

make me dream of you

If there is a sexier song in the world than "Wicked Game," I don't want to know about it.

(Though Frou Frou's "Let Go" comes close.)

08-23-2004 9:43 PM - comments (0)

http://www.bigmixup.com/writing/indienumber/ Can't stop laughing. Best

http://www.bigmixup.com/writing/indienumber/

Can't stop laughing. Best thing ever.

08-19-2004 4:03 PM - comments (0)

these fears come rushing in

these fears come rushing in when I enter here
another layer on my back
a blazing fire where our glances meet
the largest feeling towering over me

faces in disguise
not a trace of desire

Why did Sunny Day Real Estate have to break up?

08-18-2004 3:06 PM - comments (0)

I wonder if I'm as

I wonder if I'm as good or as bad as I like to believe. I worry I won't handle it well if I find out I'm just somewhere in between. I am not the kind of person who belongs in between.

Listening to: "Overnight Celebrity" - Twista

08-16-2004 9:51 PM - comments (0)

My guilty pleasures this week:

My guilty pleasures this week:

-"She Will be Loved" - Maroon 5 (I know, I know)
-"Let's Get it Started" - Black Eyed Peas
-Bonny Doon Vin de Glaciere (speaking of which, I miss Amy and Sara!)
-Standing up for myself

And I found such a cool apartment. I move in next month. Central West End, here I come. Well, half a mile away, here I come, anyway.

08-16-2004 9:35 PM - comments (4)

Yesterday, we were talking about

Yesterday, we were talking about Emeril. That led to a discussion of other prominent TV chefs, which led a friend of mine at work to mention Julia Child.

"Isn't she dead?" I asked. (I frequently think some celebrities who are very much alive have passed away. Faye Dunaway is a prime example. Except for I still believe she's really secretly dead.)

"No, she's not dead," several of my co-workers retorted.

But haha, she really IS dead now! Now everyone at work is scared of me.

08-13-2004 10:37 AM - comments (2)

It was a rare occurence

It was a rare occurence that I was able to sit through a KCOU DJ stutter through his commentary, but I'm glad I did one day about a year ago. I was able to discover Explosions in the Sky, whose music is beautiful, haunting and, in this frightening age when Britney Spears is considered a composer, lyric-free. They're neither as sorrowful nor as raucous as Mogwai, but they're in the same vein.

Try "Help Us Stay Alive" or "Snow and Lights." (In the latter, especially listen around 2:34.)

08-12-2004 10:09 PM - comments (0)

What a day.

What a day.

08-11-2004 5:01 PM - comments (0)

I am now officially an

I am now officially an iTunes junkie. Specifically, I am obsessed with the celebrity playlists. Who knew Fred Durst had such good taste? The Polyphonic Spree picked a couple of my favorites, including "I Wanna Be Adored." The Killers chose another couple of my beloveds -- "Home and Dry" and "Eye" (Pet Shop Boys and the Smashing Pumpkins, respectively).

And Rob Thomas likes David Garza! ("Slave" is such a fantastic song.) We have something in common besides gaining weight a couple of years ago!

Dude, even James Patterson has a playlist. Awesome stuff. Once they have your credit card info, it's all over for you. Don't say I didn't warn you.

08-03-2004 9:56 PM - comments (3)

"Your eyes look like they're

"Your eyes look like they're from God,
and your face looks like it's from God."

And it makes me think of an atheist, the one they call "God-like." It's reminiscent of the second compliment I ever gave him, and it makes me realize now just how perceptive I was. About the right people, anyway.

08-02-2004 10:09 PM - comments (0)

Amy has another installment of

Amy has another installment of her "funniest sentences in my inbox right now" segment. Good stuff. Makes me wonder why my witty friends don't send me witty e-mails. Chase, I'm looking at you.)

"Ahh, Missourian memories ... Eric Parry pretending to be competent, Warhover pretending to care, Judy Bolch pretending to be sober, Jody Sowell pretending to be straight, Brian Joseph pretending to be black, Richelle Turner-Collins pretending to be someone who can spell."

I choked when I read this. Almost was in tears. I really wish I had known the last person, though, because the insult seemed funny.

08-02-2004 3:10 PM - comments (0)

Michael Moore, what have you

Michael Moore, what have you done? Why bother doctoring evidence when there's plenty out there? And why not get a copy editing job at the Pentagraph, as the paper suggests?

08-02-2004 2:43 PM - comments (0)