So Deep Throat's Been Outed...

...but the real mystery is why so many government officials during the Watergate era went by the first initial of their first name followed by their full middle name: E. Howard Hunt, G. Gordon Liddy, J. Edgar Hoover, H.R. Haldeman (OK, that's not really the same thing, but it's still dumb) and now W. Mark Felt.

Was there some sort of weird law in the '70s mandating this? Did they think it made them sound more prestigious? Did all the cool spies start doing it to imitate J. Edgar Hoover?

P.S. I just now realized that Fred Thompson, who stars on Law & Order, was the Senate Watergate Committee's minority counsel, leading me to believe Watergate is the Bermuda Triangle of political scandals. Or something.

05-31-2005 5:05 PM - comments (2)

There's a Thousand Things I Want You to Know.

My new job rocks beyond human comprehension. (OK, beyond Rachel comprehension, which, admittedly, is fairly limited. I can't be blamed for that, though.) My boss is so smart and cool and, yes, dresses well. And I work with this incredibly intelligent, fast-talking (UNITE!), on-top-of-things, neat woman, who is so gracious with me while I'm asking 400 questions at once. And she reads Esquire. And Real Simple. And probably every magazine out there, plus tons of newspapers. And she's knowledgeable about global affairs and politics and science and...OK. Enough about my awesome co-worker.

I think I've lost three pounds.

I had the best farewell party ever on Saturday, and Christie and Nas even made an appearance. My former co-workers gave me one of the best presents I've ever gotten (the Precious Moments locket not included), and I may or may not have acted like someone with an IQ of 85 for most of the evening. And Michael came, and it was the best party ever.

We can't agree on names for our kids. Let them all have yawn-inducing names; I could care less (still, Olivia and Gabriel are good, aren't they?).

Someone once told me my eyes shine when I'm happy. I'm practically boring holes through the walls these days.

05-26-2005 6:08 PM - comments (0)

Do You Realize?

I have the very best boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. If I'm lucky enough to do so, I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make him happy.

05-24-2005 7:02 AM - comments (0)

A Temporary Solution.

So I've found the formula for getting out of a really terrible mood:

A talk with best friend to find out she's in at least decent health (and that she's coming to visit the next weekend) + talk to mother and press for answers about what she was like when she was your age (so as to prove you are not insane) + 2.5 glasses of whiskey and Diet Pepsi + ridiculously, outrageously cheesy pizza from Pizza Hut + America's Next Top Model finale + 45 minutes in the tub the next morning with the new Esquire and new sugar scrub.

I suppose recreating this may be difficult.

05-19-2005 7:57 AM - comments (0)


Few songs get to me the way Roy Orbison's "Crying" does.

I've had a rough couple of days.

(Shake it off.)

05-18-2005 8:42 PM - comments (0)

And I Thought I Was Done With Adolescence.

I wish I could put into words how I'm feeling now. This is nuts. I'm a writer, and I'm failing, absolutely crashing and burning, right at the moment when there are more weird, unexpected emotions flowing through me than ever before in my life.

Quitting one's job can bring an immense amount of relief. That part I buy, and at any price. But I wasn't prepared for this empty, bittersweet feeling that accompanied the act and the two weeks (now only 17 hours) that follow. I want to say goodbye to people -- really say it, and not in that half-assed, "we'll still be friends" kind of way. I want to sit them down and tell them how important they've been to me and how much I want them to stay in my life. I want to recount the funny things we've shared, the memorable conversations, the countless times they've made me glad that I endured the arduous move from Houston to this city. But they'd have none of it; I know those sorts of saccharine moments are considered blasphemous in a way, contrary to their tight-lipped, closed-off selves. I don't begrudge them this; I'm just as cynical and bitter as they are. Just not now.

More than anything, I've managed to convince myself this is it, that when this chapter in my life ends and the new one begins, this will all be done with. I can't explain. No one's dying. No one's moving away. No one's going to leave my life. If I wanted to, I could make these relationships last for an indefinite period of time. If I think about it rationally, I know my feelings are completely unjustified.

So if that's the case, why do I feel like I'm losing part of myself?

05-18-2005 4:28 PM - comments (1)

How I'm Feeling Right Now...

...if my feelings could be summed up in an hour-long mix CD. Which they have been.

1. "Just a Lil Bit" - 50 Cent
2. "Bad Boyfriend" - Garbage
3. "Staring at the Sun" - TV on the Radio
4. "Hate It Or Love It" - 50 Cent (feat. everyone)
5. "Like Eating Glass" - Bloc Party
6. "Cause a Rockslide" - Badly Drawn Boy
7. "You're All I've Got Tonight" - The Smashing Pumpkins
8. "Toxic" - Britney Spears
9. "Only" - nine inch nails (see below)
10. "All I Need" - Air
11. "We Used to be Friends" - The Dandy Warhols
12. "Why Do You Love Me" - Garbage

I'm becoming less defined as days go by
Fading away
Well, you might say
I'm losing focus
Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself

Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
(Sometimes I can see right through myself)

Less concerned about fitting into the world
(Your world, that is)
Because it doesn't really matter
(No, it doesn't really matter anymore)
None of this really matters anymore

Yes, I'm alone but then again, I always was
As far back as I can tell
I think maybe it's because
because you never were really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
And it worked
(Yes, it did.)

There is no you
There is only me
There is no you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me.

05-17-2005 2:13 PM - comments (0)

Nothing Close to Tepid.

They played it on Veronica Mars when Logan was onscreen. Appropriate.

I've got a fever
Come check it and see
There's something burning and rolling in me
We may not last, but we'll have fun till it ends
C'mon baby, be my bad boyfriend

I wanna hear you call out my name
I wanna see you burn up in flames
Keep you on ice so I can show all my friends
C'mon baby, be my bad boyfriend

So ripe so sweet, come suck it and see
But watch out, Daddy, I sting like a bee
I know some tricks I swear will give you the bends
C'mon baby, be my bad boyfriend

My fever's rising, you ran into luck
Say what sugar
You wanna get what?
I wanna give you my one hundred and ten
C'mon baby, be my bad boyfriend

It's wild the way you tease me
It's wild the way you free me
It's wild the way you reach me
Wrapped me up in your wire from the start

You've got the women waiting in line
I'm not asking you to make up your mind
But I can make you happy at least now and then
I've got something special for my bad boyfriend

If you can't love me honey go on just pretend
I've saved something special for the very end
If you can't love me honey go on just pretend
C'mon baby, be my bad boyfriend.

05-11-2005 11:32 PM - comments (2)

Past, Present, Future.

Our vacation photos from Mexico are finally up on flickr. I think they turned out really well, especially considering my camera (albeit, a really great Nikon Coolpix) is only 2 megapixels.

Also, I quit my job with the Journals two days ago. I just know my new job is going to be amazing: intelligent people, wonderful benefits and a real opportunity to grow professionally. I'm both excited and terrified of this new chapter in my life, but no big change comes without those emotions. All in all, I feel like my life is going in a thrilling direction.

And to anyone whom this might apply, my soon-to-be former boss already knows I'm leaving, so this isn't fodder to gossip with her about. I guess you'll have to find a replacement for your source of scintillating conversation.

05-11-2005 11:01 AM - comments (0)

And We're Baaaack!

So we got in last night around midnight. Mexico was absolutely wonderful and just the thing Michael and I needed. Thanks to David, I have a new Flickr account that I will post some photos to this evening (hopefully).

Mexico by the numbers

7: Nights we were there
8: Days we were there
5: Days the maid made some weird creation out of a towel and some tropical flowers

739: Songs I uploaded to my iPod
2: Days I was able to use my iPod until I realized the adapter I purchased for it only worked in conjunction with the USB cable
7: Days I wished I could have used the iPod because of noisy, obnoxious people we sat next to at the pool or beach

8: Books I brought
7: Books I read (reviews TK)

1: Book about Spanish Michael brought
672: Times Michael practiced things from his book
671: Times I thought it was cute

1: Day we both got bad sunburns at the beach
5: Days we overused 48 SPF sunscreen because of said burn, resulting in tepid tans for the both of us

7: Times we ate at the a la carte restaurants, even though we were only guaranteed three times (we're not big buffet people)
2: Times we ate at the Japanese a la carte restaurant
2: Times we both (!) consumed sushi at said restaurant
1: Time I ordered sake at the Japanese restaurant just because the German couple next to us did and I thought it would be fun
2: Shots of tequila I took at the steakhouse (aka "American" restaurant)
1: Time I was really sick in the middle of the night, thanks to sake. Guess I'm impervious to Jose Cuervo!

3: Times we ordered room service
12: Number of tacos el pastor we ate, thanks to room service
1: Time we ordered room service just for brownies, but somehow ended up with two brownies, two pizzas and a plate of fruit. Oops.
6: Days I had bacon for breakfast
3: Days during the year I normally consume bacon for breakfast
2: Huge double Whoppers with cheese and sets of fries we consumed in the Cancun airport on the way back to America, claiming we missed American food
1: Time I felt so sick I would die (last night)
100: Approximate pounds I gained

2: Cats (gatitos) that let me pet them
17: Times I looked at the photo I took of Elliott on my digital camera right before we left

27: Approximate number of men wearing Speedos we saw
1: Time we saw someone wearing a Speedo right under a picture of a banana hammock in a restaurant, weirdly enough

100: Dollars in tips I left for maids, bartenders, waiters and bellboys during my stay
3: Times I became outraged after hearing various American guests bragging about how they didn't tip for anything
100: Percent of people I heard bragging about not tipping who had mullets, more than six piercings or tattoos, Southern accents, were drunk on Corona at 9 in the a.m. and/or who wore bad tank tops
25: Times I wanted to strangle people by the pool who were talking as if they were deaf and treating the bartenders like help
3: Shots of tequila we watched a group of middle-aged, obviously pent-up American women take at 2 p.m. one day
1: Time we saw one woman from aforementioned group flash her saggy, pasty breasts to the whole pool
1: Second it took after seeing that to pick up our towels and move to a new section of the pool
Infinite: Times I contemplated telling people we were Canadian

200: Dollars I spent during the entire trip, including tips, gift of tequila for my dad, gift of Retin-A for my mom (they sell everything over-the-counter there), shotglass for friend, white skull pipe for friend and black skull pipe for brother, inflatable raft for ocean and octopus goggles

Not much more than that: How much Michael spent on his portion, including airfare, taxes and taxi back home

Hard to say: Times we marveled how lucky we were

05-09-2005 5:34 PM - comments (1)

Hasta Luego.

Michael and I leave for Mexico in about seven hours. I'm like that kid in the commercial for Disney World -- I'm too excited to sleep. So I got up around 7 this morning and paid bills, prepared for the day we get back (around midnight on May 8. Or would that be May 9?) and spent some quality time with Elliott.

In other news, I am totally and utterly broke. I got about $200 worth of stuff from Target (mostly for the trip, such as an iPod charger and a bunch of books), but I've been nearing the bottom of my accounts for a while. I need to build those back up again when I get back. But this week, I'm pledging not to worry.

I have a feeling this week will be wonderful. I've had the best last couple of weeks, so I have no reason to believe the vacation will be any different. I probably won't post while I'm gone, so until next week, adios!

05-01-2005 8:45 AM - comments (0)